Tools to fight fear #7: Resilience

  Add all six of the previous tool together, and you get resilience. Resilience gets a bad rap as being the willingness to endure hardship, or the ability to keep going on after being a victim, but in reality resilience is neither of those things. Resilience gives you three things that you need to fight any fear. The ability to recover quickly. Want to shake it off? If you’re resilient,

Tools to fight fear #6: Poise

  Poise is really for advanced adventurers, because it develops as a result of previously successfully confronting and defeating a fear. Poise is one of those really cool battle scars you get, and it’s what allows you to summon up more courage as you go further down the road. For me, the definition of poise is “courage that is not controlled or dependent on emotion.” Poise tells me that I’ve

Tools to fight fear #5: Focus

  You will have to work to harness your energy and focus, because without focus, you can go off on an ineffective tangent and squander all of your other tools. In a business, you need to conserve all of your reserves and get the biggest return on your efforts. Focus allow you to do just that. Focus pulls you into the present, and if you’re dealing with the regrets of

Tools to fight fear #4: Courage

You might think that courage would come in at number one, but in order to have courage, you need to have a store of energy, a positive perspective and loads of determination to see things through. I mentioned in the introduction that anxiety often substitutes itself for assertiveness, and if you are tired of running from the room in search of relief from your anxiety and you’re ready to stand

Tools to fight fear #3: Energy

The third tool that you need to successfully fight fear is energy.  Along with determination and perspective, energy is a tool that you’ll need throughout your confrontation with fear.  And yes, you’ll have to confront your fear; no use trying to tiptoe past it, hoping it doesn’t see you. Before we go any further, let’s look at what “energy” is not.  Being “energetic” is not always being in a heightened

Tools to fight fear #2: Perspective

  The second tool that you’ll need in your arsenal to tackle fear is perspective.  We looked earlier at how determination provides a powerful engine for keeping you going past fear.  Today, we’re giving the same treatment to your perspective.  While determination is the fuel that keeps you going, perspective determines how you see every aspect of your situation. “Do I really have what it takes to go trough this? 

Accepting your faults without beating yourself up

  When does the thought”I screwed up” morph into a form of self flagellation?  Where is that line and is it the same for all of us?  How do we deal with our faults without making things harder on ourselves? I don’t know about you. but I spent my twenties being extremely hard on myself.  Every time I made a mistake, I came up with ways to punish myself.  I

When you think you’re an imposter

  Do you still think that you’re a fraud?  Are you convinced that security will come in any second and escort you out of the ballroom? One of the very first blog posts I wrote was about those of us who suffer from the Impostor Syndrome. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a little voice inside your head that asks “Who do you think you are?  You don’t deserve

When and how you begin doubting yourself, part II

Yesterday, I talked about the thoughts that go rooting around in your head as you start to panic and contemplate backing out of making a major change in your life.  Today, I’ve got a few more.  I’ve seen parts of myself in all of these excuses, and God knows at time they sounded seductively reasonable to me. “I’ll leave when I have more money saved up.” Before the economy went

Kipling on how to thrive

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too